Not all of my friends bought the tickets to this get on this train of thought but I bought multiple rides and am still quite interested in the approach that philosopher Alain de Botton has on love. To him, the hollywood popularized Romanticism is the enemy of successful loving relationships. So the idea of soulmates, using instict (love at first sight) as a way of becoming attracted to someone, thinking that someone will just get you because there’s a magical cloud of feelings that will interpret yours and your partner’s proclivities, not looking at capitalism and how our real lives are affected by it, the idea that love and sex go together, the idea that there’s one true love and an ideal perfect love situation etc. All of these are things that De Botton disputes as ways of measuring realistic loving unions and relationships. When I was going through a difficult time in my relationship, I made it a point to seek out better ways in which to understand this thing that we are doing, and finally, to try to understand my partner from a psychological perspective. Check this out when you are alone and have time to really sit and think about things honestly.
After watching this video, I went and bought his book The Course of Love, which is a very useful guide to understanding that neither me or my person is difficult, but the thing we are trying to do – merging two lives together, is extremely difficult. It’s available on Amazon.